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Looking Glass: You’ve got a lot of explaining to do, young lady


A 13-year-old girl from Colorado, in a stolen SUV, led state troopers on a chase at speeds exceeding 100 mph down the interstate in Kearney, Neb., until the cops deployed stop sticks and ended her little escapade. Officers searched the vehicle and found a firearm, a small amount of marijuana, drug paraphernalia and an 11-year-old boy inside.

LOOKS LIKE A CASE OF DIVINE RETRIBUTION: A man who got drunk and burglarized the Christ the King Catholic Church in Monterrey, Mexico, tried to flee with a statue of St. Michael the Archangel, but tripped and fell on the angel’s sword, seriously injuring his neck.

YOU CALL THAT EVIDENCE!?: A man on parole, who was wearing a court-ordered GPS monitor, burglarized six homes in Rochester, N.Y., over five weeks, and was recorded doing so in a video posted on a neighborhood social media app.

HELLO THERE! REMEMBER ME!?: The owner of a convenience store in Geoje, South Korea, refused a man’s request to sell him a plastic bag when he bought ice cream there, abiding by a ban on single-use plastic bags by the Ministry of Environment. So two months later, the guy came back drunk, slammed his car into the store, rushed in and assaulted the owner.

UPSET?! YOU’RE DARNED RIGHT I’M UPSET!: A woman demanded food at a restaurant in Winnipeg, Manitoba, at 3 a.m., and, when she was denied, set off a firecracker to distract workers, stole a pizza, ran outside and carjacked a taxi. She dragged the driver about 10 yards, and was arrested when she got stuck in a snowbank.

NEVER MIND, I’LL JUST TAKE THIS FOR MY GIRLFRIEND: A gunman entered a sex shop in Los Angeles and ordered the saleslady to hand over “all the money,” but he then grabbed a sex toy off the wall and walked out without the cash.

WHO’S UP FOR A GAME OF ANGRY BIRDS?: A wild turkey showed up at a mobile home park in Coon Rapids, Minn., shortly after Thanksgiving, and has been terrorizing the neighborhood ever since by attacking residents and chasing cars. The victims have even called the Department of Natural Resources after the bird — who they have named Reggie — wouldn’t let one woman leave her home for hours.

AN OVERTURNED CAR? WHERE!?: A 77-year-old man crashed his vehicle inside a car wash in Pennsylvania, and somehow managed to flip it onto its side. It took 90 minutes to rescue him, because this sort of thing just never happens.

IT JUST DIDN’T SEEM POSSIBLE: Two men shot each other with the same gun in the back yard of a residence in Birmingham, Ala. One of them shot the other, and, during the ensuing physical altercation, the wounded guy gained control of the gun and shot the first guy.

WELL, WELL, WE MEET AGAIN, SIR: A 44-year-old man was pulled over on a highway in Auroraville, Wisc., for going 104 miles per hour, and was charged with drunk driving for the sixth time.


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