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Perhaps it’s time to reassess your priorities, young fella’

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Minnesota police arrested a 16-year-old boy who had led them on a 28-mile chase between Minneapolis and St. Paul in a stolen car. The lad has nine previous arrests for fleeing, weapons possession, auto theft and assault, and was wearing a GPS ankle bracelet because he is on probation. Arresting officers noticed that he was in pain, and he told them that he had been shot twice on two different days: once in the stomach and once in the leg.

IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHERE I’VE BEEN: A drunk driver who crashed into another car in Venice, Fla., ran to a nearby bar, downed three shots of whiskey, and then returned to scene of the accident.

YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE JUST GIVEN UP: A motorcyclist was engulfed in flames after an Arkansas state trooper fired his taser at him and hit his backpack, which contained a gallon of gasoline. He was trying to flee on foot after leading the cops on a chase at speeds approaching 100 miles per hour. He is expected to fully recover.

WE’VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHO HE IS: An ex-convict shoved a man aside at an ATM in Jersey City, N.J., and snatched the $800 that the victim had just withdrawn from the machine. But, when he ran off, he dropped his inmate identification card from the Hudson County jail. The cops haven’t caught him yet, but it’s just a matter of time.

AT LEAST YOU HAVE ACHIEVED SELF-AWARENESS: A man, who used a stolen credit card to make 15 purchases in Rivera Beach, Fla., over two days, told the arresting officer that he did it, “because I am a thief.”

DOES THAT REALLY SURPRISE YOU, SIR? A man, using an orange plastic bag with eye slits as a mask, tried to rob a post office in Oxfordshire, England. The woman behind the counter told him he was “being stupid” and pointed out there were “cameras everywhere.” The man, who had been drinking and ingesting Valium, said, “Cameras!?” and ran out of the building.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD: A man was released from prison after serving time for punching a woman in the face during a robbery attempt in Chicago and kicking a cop in the groin. Six days later, he punched a woman in the face on the subway and kicked another cop in the groin.

DON’T TELL ME THAT I SHOULD MOVE ON!: A man was sentenced to seven years in prison for trying to hire someone to kill the fiance of an ex-girlfriend in Tampa, Fla., and also the boyfriend of another ex-girlfriend in Rome, Ga. He had emailed the Georgia woman that he knew she was happy with her new boyfriend, but that he still wanted her to be with him.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE WAS ENJOYING THE RIDE: A man posted a video of a young couple on a commuter train who — unable to control their passion — engaged in wild, rampant sex as the train traveled through the countryside in rural Scotland.

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